Gawd Did It

Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) told OneNewsNow that Nancy Pelosi doesn't need to save the planet. That's cute. Oh, and "they" saved it over 2000 years ago. I wonder who she could have been talking about. I know who she meant now, it was John McCain... no, wait, he's not quite that old. Did she mean Jesus?
It's good to know that Jesus saved the planet so long ago, now if He had just saved the GOP from morons 2000 years ago.

Michelle is a real stunner. She's the nice lady who believes there is no life in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
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Visiting ANWR also revealed that almost no wildlife exists in the 2,000-acre area. It was flat arctic tundra with absolutely no trees in view. And, caribou and wildlife were nowhere near the possible drilling sites.

Michelle brought us other great hits also, hits like "Democrats Want Americans To Live In Cities." She's right, though, that is twisted. Who would want to live in an American city?
Thank you, Kleefeld.

Bachmann joins a growing number of Republicans who have given up on solving any of our nations problems, and have instead given the problems over to God. Focus on the Family decided to confront the Obama problem by praying for a torrential downpour of Biblical proportions during Barack's speech in Denver. I've actually been following the calls to pray for rain. The story broke a few days ago, but I figured they didn't need my prayers.

You don't think right wing Christians had anything to do with Katrina, do you? Oh my goodness, they did. McCain and Lieberman's good friend John Hagee prayed for God to wipe out the gays in New Orleans, and lo and behold, it came to pass. Miracles do happen. Where would our nation be without men of caliber like John Hagee? Wait, I have a better question. Where would Hagee be without a nation full of suckers to buy his snake oil?

At least we all still have sexuality to ease the tension... oh no. The Religious Right wants to make orgasms a bad thing. What's next? Alcohol? No, they tried that already, and it didn't work out so well for anyone but the mobsters. Maybe God gave us sexuality to be nice. Maybe He figured, "Their plight is too miserable for me to stand it. Let there be sex." I'm just saying, there would be no religous fanatics to tell us sex is bad if people hadn't been having sex all this time.

Music: Marilyn Manson, God Is In The TV