Male Anatomy Non News

John Edwards had sex with somebody besides his wife. This confirms the rumors that have been swirling around John Edwards for quite some time. He is, in fact, a male, and not just a male but a man as well. Some of us had high hopes that he would be proven a sexless eunuch, but he has fallen from grace with eunuchs everywhere. "That depends on what the definition of is is," said an older man guilty of having similar genitalia in the past when asked, "Is it true that John Edwards has male parts?"

Over at Obsidian Wings, hilzoy presented some of the leaked memos from Hillary Clinton's campaign. There is a memo about Rielle Hunter in the pile. Excerpt:

(Rielle's) latest project was John Edwards. Edwards, she said, was an old soul who had barely tapped into any of his potential. The real John Edwards, she believed, was a brilliant, generous, giving man who was driven by competing impulses—to feed his ego and serve the world. If he could only tap into his heart more, and use his head less, he had the power to be a "transformational leader" on par with Gandhi and Martin Luther King. "He has the power to change the world," she said."

Easy, stomach. As if hearing about old people having sex weren't bad enough, now there's going to be creepy little insights into the psychology of the affair coming to light all over the place. At least nobody has discussed Rielle's new age philosophy. Oh noes! More of the same memo, with new age philosophy:

Her speech was peppered with New Age jargon--human beings were dragged down by "blockages" to their actual potential; history was the story of souls entering and escaping our field of consciousness. A seminal book for her had been Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now." Her purpose on this Earth, she said, was to help raise awareness about all this, to help the unenlightened become better reflections of their true, repressed selves.

Please make it stop.

A huge thanks to John Edwards for ruining my appetite with his stupidity. The affair was wrong. Running for president on the assumption no one would find out... well that's just f***ing stupid. Poor Elizabeth must have been on some good meds when she bought into John's campaign, and supported him in silence.

And now I am done with the non news of this forever.