Yesterday Paris Hilton took McCain to school on energy policy, and how to act presidential. I fully endorse her to replace him as the Republican Presidential Candidate. There is no doubt in my mind that she is more qualified. Her smiles usually look genuine, instead of the hideous lockjaw death grin John McCain plasters on his face at bizarre moments. Many foreign leaders would probably do anything she told them to do in exchange for a dinner date. Peace in the Middle East would finally become possible, after Israeli and Palestinian officials shared a couple of rounds of Dom Perignon with her in the White House. Karl Rove won't like the idea, presumably because fart-blossom considers girls icky, but a lot of Americans would be all for it.
Speaking of Paris Hilton and beautiful women, once hot Cindy McCrazy-pills yesterday entered the Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant. Apparently John McCain feels quite comfortable with the idea of his C-Word competing in a contest known for nudity and simulated acts of fellatio. It's understandable that after showing those ads with beautiful young ladies in them McCain would want to show off his own “trophy.” The sad part about this isn't that he apparently urged Cindy to do it, it's that he thought she stood a chance to win. Even if she studied Paris and spent weeks trying to emulate her, C-Word could never hold a candle to the younger women out there. Of course Cindy could just buy the entire event and take the trophy home with her anyway, and then parade around with it while Oxy numbs her true feelings about John.
Bizarre stories from the McCain campaign abound, but the candidate is still trying to present some of his "ideas" on governing our nation. His health care philosophy really should be relabeled his sickness philosophy. John McCain proposes rationing veterans' health care, so that they could be treated only for health problems suffered during combat. The time he spent in Hanoi must have scrambled McFail's brains. The Senator evidently believes that veterans who support him could never be convinced to do otherwise. Perhaps he should attend a couple of meetings with veterans organizations, and then slap every attendee directly in the face. That would sting less than rationing their health care, and would be far less deadly.
None of these things come as much of a surprise. Any candidate willing to compare his opponent to the antichrist has no class, honor, integrity or intelligence. For weeks now I assumed those things about John McCain. With the latest attack ads he is so proud of, however, I no longer have to assume. John McCain is a sleazy sellout with no real plans (aside from continuing to rape our nation), no guts and no clue. If any reader out there knows somebody wavering in their choice for the presidency, please take the time to show them the truth. They generally can't get it from the television, so the role of readers and writers has become even more important this election than in the past. Our role is so much more important because, as our nation races down the Bush path to doom, there may not be many chances left to reverse course after this election.
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